On my mind

It was cold last night. I tucked myself under the blanket as if I would find you there waiting to make me warm. I imagined touching your skin and suddenly feeling hot having to put one leg out of the blanket. It was all a dream and I had to get up and turn the air conditioner down.

And every time I eat an apple I think of you. And now I eat many more apples than I did when we were together. I still can't eat it all, like you do. Or did. If you were here I know you'd finish them for me. But since you are not, it all goes to waste. What a waste having you so far from me.

Today I am sad and I am feeling lonely. I can't stop thinking about you. I am convinced I shouldn't message you though, I am trying to learn my lesson. How can I message someone who doesn't exist anymore? I get myself mourning a ghost on days like this. Savoring memories. The only problem is they taste so bitter, and yet I can't just spit them out.

Human beings can get used to anything, that's what I believe. That being so we might say one can get used to a broken heart. Life might seem greyish then, or is it just this rainy weather that insists on covering up Rio with heavy clouds? Life does feel heavy in a day like today. It is hard not to think I'd rather be somewhere else right now. Having an adventure, not thinking about you. Enjoying life shouldn't demand such a big effort, right?

I miss you.